1. Understand what “not being yourself” really is
Most people aren’t fake — they’re adapted.
At some point, your unconscious learned:
- “If I say this, I’ll be rejected”
- “If I relax, something bad will happen”
- “If I’m fully me, I’ll be judged”
So it created patterns: pleasing, overthinking, hiding, performing, proving.
👉 These are protective strategies, not flaws.
2. Stop asking “Who should I be?”
Start asking “What happens when I don’t interfere?”
Being yourself often looks like:
- Speaking slower than your anxiety wants
- Pausing before responding
- Letting your face and shoulders relax
- Allowing silence without filling it
The real you shows up when control drops.
3. Let the unconscious lead (not fear)
The unconscious already knows:
- Your natural pace
- Your humour
- Your values
- Your boundaries
Fear is loud.
The unconscious is quiet but consistent.
A simple reframe:
“I don’t need to try to be myself — I need to stop interrupting myself.”
4. Notice where you feel most “you”
Ask:
- When do I feel less self-conscious?
- Who do I feel calmer around?
- What activities make time disappear?
That’s not a coincidence — that’s alignment.
Expand those states into other areas of life.
5. Drop the performance, keep the presence
You don’t need:
- Perfect confidence
- The right words
- A strong personality
You need presence.
Presence looks like:
- Breathing lower in the body
- Letting thoughts pass without chasing them
- Responding instead of reacting
6. A short unconscious exercise
Try this quietly:
“If I didn’t need to impress, protect, or prove anything…
how would I sit right now?
how would I speak?
how would I move?”
Then let the body answer.
That response is closer to you than any idea.